Everything I Long For (1995)

Bad as they seem

Girl of my dreams
things are as bad as they seem
she is only sixteen.
That’s why she's only a dream.
Woman of my dreams,
lives right down my street,
has a daughter who's sixteen.
That’s why she's only a dream.

What do I do this for?
I’ve got to get out some more
go down to the grocery store
meet someone I’ll adore.
Someone who'll make me laugh,
someone to be my better half,
keep me warm under the sack,
share with me my midnight snack.

Job of my dreams
things are as bad as they seem.
Working where I did at fourteen
making less pay it seems.

House of my dreams
things are as bad as they seem.
My parents house I’ll stay for free
until I’m at least forty-three.

In September

I don't need to
take this shit from you.
I don't want you
calling me up at two
just to tell me there's some guy you met who
while at a party
told you that he loved you.

I don't
need to know this
need to know this.
I don't
want to know this
want to know this.

Tell me the way they are with you
tell me exactly what they do

Things that you say only to prove
that what I have is much to lose

I don't need to
take this shit from you.
I don't want you
calling me up at two
just to tell me there's some guy you met who
while at a party
came just looking at you.

We never should have said that in September
we shouldn't go away but stay together.

Tell me the way to be with you
tell me exactly what to do
things that you say only to prove
that what I have is love for you
for you
for you
for you

We don't mind

It was a Tuesday morning in November
I slept at your house the night before.
We couldn't wait to out to go for
a big breakfast at an old-fashioned diner.
A full meal, six coffees refills later
we both have to be at work in an hour.
Let’s call in sick, I suggested to her.
I’ll call your boss and tell her that you're under
the weather; you'll call mine, you will tell her
that I’m very sick and that you're my mother.

So we walked down the street
looking for a phone booth we
rehearse what we're going to say
so that we can have this day
away.

We find a phone booth with room for two.
I call your boss and I don't speak the truth.
They’re pretty mad about you, but they'll get through.
You call my work in my mother's voice, they believe you.

And it starts to rain outside
in our phone booth we hide
it doesn't let up until five.
Squished together we don't mind.
We don't mind.

Tragedy

Broken bottle won't hurt
me.
Nothing worse than I have
dreamed.
Gunshot in my chest you'll
leave.
I can take that, you will
see.
And late at night is when I dream.
Horrible things are what I’ll see.
Hard for me to believe
I wake up and I want free.

Car crash highway tragedy
nothing worse than I have
dreamed.
Loss of my best friend, I
grieve.
I can take that, you will
see.
Late at night is when I dream.
Horrible things are what I see.
Hard for me to believe.
I wake up and I want free.

Stem

I bought a rose to give to you,
a windy day, the petals flew
from the stem onto the street.
I tried to catch them with my feet.

I got to your door; you looked to see
through the peephole right at me.
You let me in and I just froze.
I give you a stem that was a rose,
that was a rose.

Skates

When I was younger,
a part-time job worker,
department store center,
I saw a man enter.
He was middle-aged
with deep lines on his face,
tight mouth and eyes glazed,
eyelids just half-raised.

(Chorus) and I looked at him
he looked at me
he looked so sad, I had to see.
What did he want? What could it be?
What had he been through before me
seeing him in the store
I worked for
that year.

Ice skates, he asked for,
the middle of summer.
He wanted a good pair,
the price he did not care.
I looked for his size,
our best pair he tried,
custom back and sides.
Excitement in his eyes.

(Chorus)

I asked, are you a pro?
He looked sad and said 'no.'
'these skates my last hope.
Without them I cannot cope.'
And he said, 'my wife, she drowned this summer
behind our house, the river took her
I cannot swim, I need to find her, I will wait
till it freezes over, and then I will skate
as far as it takes.
I will skate, as far as it takes
to bring her back home.'

(Chorus)

I’m to blame

I considered
your letter
I understood
your questions.

I’m wasting away
I’ve gone astray
take me away
I know what you'll say --

I’m to blame;
didn't want change
things can't stay
the same way.

Come get me,
I’m ready.
My mind's changed...
will you take me?

I’m wasting away
and I've gone astray
take me away
I know what you'll say.

Driveway

Baby on the drive,
time is almost five
laundry basket I
sit in while lee tries
to tell me I should know,
tell me I would grow,
sticking fourteen stones
gently up my nose.

So I shoved one up
until it got stuck
five more then I’m done
playing with lee's no fun,
dad came out the front door and he saw
only lee sticking a rock
up his nose while I just watched
dad chased him around the block

Dad caught him real quick
then he gave him shit
hospital by six
his nose the doctors fixed.
I sit on the drive
waiting till they arrive
nose is full inside
trying to stay alive

Lee was too scared to tell dad how many
stones up my nose no one says
till one day a bleeding face
stone falls from my nose they say
they say.

Hardly

Could I be the one thing
missing from your life
and from your everyday?
I need you to be beside me,
why don't you call me and we'll see?

I see you having coffee
you are almost beside me,
laughing with your friends.
I tell Lorraine to look at you,
I tell her I need to tell you

(Chorus) I don't know you
but I want to
I just can't leave here
without telling you --
just how lonely I’ve been lately.
You are just as lonely, maybe?
We should go out for some coffee.

I wonder how I can
give you my phone number,
and not be so afraid?
I ask Lorraine to give it to you
when I go to the washroom.
I return to the table
I look, but I’m unable
to find you anywhere.
I ask Lorraine to look for you,
I tell her I need to tell you

(Chorus)

On the way out the door
Lorraine lets me know that she went up to you
and gave you my number and said
'call him or else he'll be sad.'

And I waited, for two weeks and
I realized that you'd never call me
how could I have been so stupid?
I should have gone up to you and
told you myself how you make me feel.

You were loved

Analyzed, thought it over too much
criticize myself way too much
I will utilize the energy I have left
to say goodbye
to you and I will survive.

'Cause I lost what I once found in you.

Take your smoke
coughing choking, there is no hope
take your records away
I hate folk.
Pack your bags and don't forget your coat
it's cold outside, but you'll survive.

'Cause I lost what I once found in you.

When this is over

I wake up
beside you, in mom's car
I try to get you out;
you're strapped to the backseat
I am too.

The car is rolling down to water.
Why are we
strapped to our seats,
trapped,
what did we do?
I cleaned my room just as she asked me to.

Filling up, dirty water,
my chin's up, going under.
You’re still asleep, baby brother.
I’ll wake you up when this is over.

The car is rolling down to water.
Why are we
strapped to our seats,
trapped,
what did we do?
I brushed my teeth just as she asked me to.

This is it, baby brother;
one more breath together
we're almost underwater
where is mom?
I miss her.

The car has rolled into the water.
Why are we dying in this way,
what did we do?
I was nice to him,
her boyfriend, this is stupid
when people come to search the lake
we'll be found in our pajamas
they will see
a big mistake is all that this must be.

Bunk bed*

Lee and I had
a beautiful bunked
bottom was mine, to keep rain from my head
and yoga, my mom, she took when I was young
she said she'd teach me moves when she got home

(Chorus) I bounced my bed
I hurt my head
I saw red
I thought, I’m dead, from my bunked.
I hate bunk beds.

Waited till ten
for her to come on in
to show me how
she learned to twist her limbs.
That’s great, show me,
it looks like so much fun.
Just once, oh please, I’ll sleep when I am done.

(Chorus)

Holding my head the nail on lee's bed
they stitched me up, but I wanted the top instead,

(Chorus)

I almost cried*

We saw a movie where the hero had
-- this may sound silly -- such honor, and
he protected all those he loved
with such power it made me glad.
When we left the show, I know it's so
different from those days long ago.
I held your hand and didn't let go
until you were safe inside your home.

The hero's family and friends all died.
He couldn't help them, no matter how he tried.
Fate was stronger he could not deny.
The story moved me,
I almost cried.
When we left the show, I know it's so
different from those days long ago.
I kept looking behind, I was hoping no one
was following us on our way back home.

My parent's house

Time, time when you stayed over,
we stayed in bed forever
the mail piled at the door.
Time, we lost track of the hours;
pizza boxes tower
the floor beside the bed.

Time, our bodies sore from something,
it surely wasn't walking,
our friends thought we were dead.
And I can't recreate those times we used to have
without you they'll be bad.
Let’s meet, next month at my parent's house
they'll be
away like they were then
away like we were then.

Time, you met someone new
someone who liked you
but not like I liked you.
Time, you ask him if he'll mind
of course he'll surely mind.
So just leave him for me.

Will you meet me and we'll try to set things right?
I want things to be right.
And I bet we'll stay in bed for days and never leave
I never want to leave,
we'll never have to leave.

Lounging

Why do I
stay up till three
lounging, eating, watching TV?
I promised you
I promised you
that was through.

Why do I
sleep in so late?
I wish sleeping wasn't
so great.
I promised you
I promised you
that was through.

*On original pressing


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